EUROPEAN FAMILY THERAPY ASSOCIATION
CONNECTING FAMILY THERAPISTS AND TRAINERS
Reynaldo Perrone
(1940) Argentinian psychiatrist who now lives in France.
(1940) Argentinian psychiatrist who now lives in France; former associate professor at the Faculty of Psychology at the Pierre Mendès-France University of Grenoble, teacher at the University of Savoy in Chambery, director of the Institute for Training and Application of Communication Therapies in Lyon, former doctor consultant at Child Protection in Lyon, Reynaldo Perrone is a psychotherapist in the same city.
Julien Besse: Discovering the systemic approach during my final year of psychology training left such a profound imprint on my life that, a few years later, aspiring to delve deeper into the complexities, I set out in search of a guide. I reconnected with the teacher who had opened the doors to this new world for me. When I asked him for advice on who could provide solid training in systemic therapy, he paused to think. ‘Hmm, I met an Argentine at a conference. He made a strong impression on me. I think you’ll be well-trained with him, if you can survive his thick accent!‘ he said with a hint of humor. In French, we have an expression ‘accent à couper au couteau’, which literally means ‘an accent so thick you could cut it with a knife‘, implying a very strong and noticeable accent.
At that moment, I had no idea that I was about to make a decision that would radically change my life and lead me to the most fateful encounter of my life.
Years later, this master of therapy, known for his ‘accent à couper au couteau’, handed me a knife. As he placed it in my hand, he revealed that this knife might have saved his life, decades earlier, in a dark alley of Saint Etienne, when a stranger tried to attack him. Since then, this knife has regularly found its place, both in my pocket and in my mind, serving as a symbol to defend my territory, my loved ones, and my beliefs, inspired by the strength, courage, and determination of Reynaldo Perrone.
Yara Doumit-Naufal: During my first year at Saint Joseph University in Beirut, there was this French professor who taught third-year and master’s level courses. Only one of his lectures was open to the public. After attending that lecture, I was convinced that one day I would work with him, Dr. Reynaldo Perrone.
At the end of my master’s, I sent him a letter expressing my desire to train at the IFATC and to become one of the pioneers of systemic intervention in Lebanon. However, I mentioned that I did not have the means to finance my travel and training. His response was direct and encouraging: ‘Come, and don’t worry about anything, we will find solutions.’
Since then, I have spent more than half of my life by his side. He has remained true to himself: a committed, honest, and creative person, who dares to think outside the box. When he visualizes a destination, a path unfolds at his feet.
Carmine Saccu: Perrone had opened a center in St Etienne in France. After the conferences we were very party people and he threw wonderful parties. I remember the first time I was at his place and I didn’t know any of his guests. I stood next to the wine barrel pouring wine for everyone and by the end of the evening I knew everyone.
Hugo Verbrugge: Still a student at IFATC at that time, I benefited from a day of training in contact with Reynaldo Perrone. On that occasion, he explained to us the birth of IFATC, the effervescence and passion with which Liliana and he lived this project, the place it took in their life, their children who grew up at the same time as IFATC and in its almost permanent contact. At the end of the day, I decide to take advantage of a moment when Reynaldo is serving himself a coffee to approach him and share with him how much I appreciated his anecdote, and his emotion when he evokes his family and IFATC.
He shared this with me: « The greatest gift my children give me is when they call me, already long adults, to ask me for advice, an opinion, a look. That’s where my existence makes sense and that I still feel useful. »
I found it incredible that a person who had accomplished and still accomplishes so much, first mentions his children’s trust when talking about the meaning of his existence. I then understood where the humanistic essence that carries the teachings at IFATC comes from.
I was deeply marked by this sharing which still regularly accompanies me in my family life.
Cécile Berger: I think it was in 2016. The memory is distant but imperishable. I was in my 1st year of training at IFATC in Lyon; still a novice and a learner, not to say a young student since I was already 40.
That day we were training with THE great master of the place; the one we all admired, the one who intimidated me so much with his background, his charisma, his elegance and his charming accent. Dr Reynaldo PERRONE had planned a role-play. There were more than twenty of us in the room who came to benefit from his knowledge and experience. Among the trainees present: psychologists, psychiatrists, child psychiatrists… and me, who was still looking for her way, after four years studying Psychology (without giving it a try), a succession of more or less fulfilling odd jobs (rather less than more), a husband and two children who made up most of my life.
So I’m 40 years old and I’m full of doubts and inferiority complexes that I do my best to hide. I feel a bit like the impostor of the day. Yet Dr PERRONE choses me to play the therapist. Pity… In the role of the client who had come for a consultation a woman, a psychiatric doctor, head of department at a large hospital in Lyon. I was told that the scene would last 45 minutes and would be filmed.
I take a seat opposite my pseudo-client and inwardly liquefy, always taking care to hide my discomfort. The simulation session begins. My « client » tells me about her work in a crèche, her anxieties, the fact that she is more and more often invaded by crazy ideas of mistreating the children in her care; ideas ranging from impulses for physical violence to sexual aggression, and so on.
The psychiatrist does not spare me! At the time, I feel like killing her, but I go for it. I play therapist for 45 interminable minutes, oscillating between random questions, long silences (reflexive silences, emotional management silences, suffering silences…) and other banalities of circumstance: « What courage to have come to the consultation to tell me all that!”
Anyway, the ordeal finally comes to an end, followed by a group debriefing. I explain how difficult the exercise was for me, how I didn’t feel up to it, how embarrassed I was and how sorry I was about the situation. And He says to me: « You didn’t give up, you were brave! You could have asked for the scene to be stopped, but you didn’t give up; you gritted your teeth and persisted to the end. You know, Céline (he always got my first name wrong: Céline/Cécile), it’s not being perfect that’s perfect; what’s perfect is doing your best.”
To this day, I can still hear his voice, the intonation and accent, everything. I don’t know how he’d picked up on my unfortunate tendency to self-injure performance, to make great internal demands, to recurrently self-disqualify. But he had just sent a significant message that almost instantly reconfigured my entire internal GPS…
Later in life, I was approached by my 4-year-old son’s teacher: « Madam, your child refuses to let me show his drawings and paintings because he says they’re not perfect!”. My son already behaves like me in nursery school! And then THE voice came back to me and I offered it to my little boy: « It’s not being perfect that’s perfect; what’s perfect, you know, is doing your best« . I added my own twist: « What’s more, art doesn’t have to be beautiful or perfect; it exists to create emotions, whether pleasant or even unpleasant!”
I was 40 years old. This course was a gift from my family to mark this milestone birthday. They didn’t know how much. Today, Dr Perrone calls me Cécile! He’s still Dr PERRONE, but he’s also become « Rey » to me, with a great deal of pride, recognition and gratitude.