Liliana Perrone

Clinical psychologist, DESS in Clinical Psychology. Psychotherapist for individuals, couples and families. D.E. in family mediation. Former head of the D.E. in family mediation at the I.S.F, Catholic University of Lyon. Founding member and Honorary President of the Center for Family and Mediation of Lyon. Founding member of the IFATC. Member of the E.F.T.A., the S.F.T.F., of RELATES and the A.I.F.I.

Hugo Verbrugge: There are masters who shine for a moment: during one of the training days, when I was in my first year, Liliana Perrone shares her knowledge on constructionism and constructivism. During this teaching, I ask her a question about what might be hiding behind a certain behavior that I have already observed. She guessed that I was talking about myself, without mentioning it. Rather than answering me directly, Liliana suggests that she and I play out the situation; she in the role of the intervener and me in the role of the person I was talking about. For this game, I played the role of “Pierre.”
And this is where the magic happened: in two or three questions, my representation of the situation had changed and I was deeply touched by what Liliana had just revealed. I could barely remember my previous representation.
When one of my fellow trainees asked a question about what had just been played, having also understood that I was talking about myself in this role-play and naming me directly, Liliana began her response with: “We are talking about Pierre here, it was a role play“, then she continued.
That day, I was both changed by the exchange I had with Liliana and touched, inspired by the care, the finesse, the humanism with which Liliana preserved who I was.

Estelle D’Ambrosio: A gossip is an anecdote about a master who has marked our lives. So I have to start these gossips with Liliana San Filippo Perrone, my maestra.
It’s an incredible story, as Umberta would say. ‘Fantastica’, a life story. I had just finished my law studies at the University of Lyon in France. Five years of law, Master 2 with a D.E.A. in Family Law, with congratulations from the jury for a dissertation on ‘The rights and protection of people hospitalised for mental disorders’.
Five years of law, knowing that I didn’t want to be a lawyer, magistrate or jurist. Marie Lacroix, a magistrate at the Grenoble Court of Appeal, introduced us to family mediation. The year was 1998. I’d never heard of it. It was a revelation. I went to see her and said, ‘That’s what I want to do! In France, family mediation is just a voluntary activity, but there is training at the Catholic University of Lyon, Institute of Family Sciences, where Liliana Perrone is in charge of training.
It’s June… selection interviews are underway. I make an appointment. Mrs Perrone sees me. It was a moment that would determine the direction of my life. We both know that this is not an ordinary meeting. We don’t know why, or what it’s going to be… but there’s a particular interest in each other. I’m held back. I didn’t think I would be, a law student with no knowledge of psychology and no professional experience of working with families or couples. Just my law studies, my life and my desire… a dream.
But circumstances and financial needs soon caught up with me, and after 2 months of training I had to stop the course and work in a completely different profession, thinking I had to mourn the loss of a profession.
But the ‘program’ changed. I gave birth to my 1st child, Thomas, and shared my room with a girl my age who was ‘very nice’. Both young mothers of our 1st child. We talked, we laughed, we ‘hit it off’.
Thinking that the whole family would come to see my child and I, the young mum, had asked for a room on my own, I left. But two days later, I came back to say hello to my roommate. In the corridor, I saw someone I knew coming out of the lift… I had my doubts, but it was Liliana Sanfilippo Perrone. I can’t believe it! What’s she doing here in the maternity ward? We’re talking. I tell her I’ve just had a son, and so has her daughter! She walks into my birth partner’s room. It’s her daughter!
I didn’t know whether I should take the mediation course again… That’s when I knew I had to. That was on 16 June 2002. In September, I took the course again, and then went on to work with Liliana in the centre she had set up: The Centre for Family and Mediation.
‘Having your eyes open’, reading the signs, having confidence.
The optimism needed to develop potential, to believe in life, in the possibility of growth and to keep hope alive. Cinthe Lemmons on Esther Perel